All at once. It’s too much

When everything happens at once.

I have a job which I started very recently.

But before it, I sent out more CVs. The job I have now answered first, so I took it.

And now the other ones are finally answering.

And I’m freaking out.

I get super, duper, uber nervous when I have to make big choices. I’m bad at taking risks. At some point, I took the first job so I can begin to pay back my student loan. Because I was afraid that the other places won’t call back and I don’t want to miss payments.

What do I do? How I keep my mind straight? How to make choices?

 

If any of my future/current employers reads this, yes, decisions are tough for me. I need a guidance, I need assurance that it’s okay to be insecure. I’m young and just got my first job. I’m shy and introvert and I want to cry when being overwhelmed. It’s what I did after my first day at work. I cried. I wanted to leave. But, here I am, after few days still there, still working, getting used to the place, slowly getting better at it. I keep fighting.